A Tribute to Discontinued Cereals
Cap’n Crunch’s Oops! Choco Donuts (2003-2004)
Really now, why mess around with O-shaped cereal, when you can just do it right with little chocolate donuts. Saturday Night Live already established that the secret to all successful athletes are little chocolate donuts. They’re the donuts of champions:
Cap’n Horatio Crunch took notice an unveiled this daring foray into donut replication. And not just cereal O’s, it came complete with sprinkles for a more chocolatey taste. The box even claimed it got its taste from sailing up chocolate rapids and through sprinkle falls. I think the box was a damn liar, however, because it that were true this cereal would still be around.
Cap’n Crunch’s Choco Crunch (1982)
Of course Choco Donuts wasn’t the Captain’s first stab at a chocolate variety of his cereal. Choco Crunch was a more traditional mix of yellow corn squares and chocolate puffs. Much like Crunch Berries, but brown and chocolate flavored. It has its own mascot, Chockle the Blob. ChocoCrunch failed, but was brought back under the same name with a slight variation, chocolate flavored corn squares with no yellow corn pieces. Here’s the original in action:
Vanilly Crunch
If chocolate wasn’t your flavor, the Cap’n had you covered as well. In the 1970s he unveiled a series of flavor variants to meet anyone’s needs. First up is VanillyCrunch, a cereal of vanilla balls straight from Wilma the Winsome White Whale’s mouth (and her bright red “do me” lipstick):
Punch Crunch
Punch Crunch was the fruit-flavored cereal, shaped in “little pink rings with big pink flavor” much like Fruit Loops. Instead of a whale, its mascot was a sailor-clad hippopotamus with teased eye lashes named Harry S. Hippo. Harry is a bit fruity, in more ways than one I believe. The eye contact being made between the Captain and Harry raises more questions than it answers. I could see the Village People getting inspiration for their song “In the Navy” from him:
Cinnamon Crunch
And finally there’s Cinnamon Crunch. In the days before the Soggies there was Jean Lafoote the Barefoot Pirate, who was notorious for his attempts to steal the Captain’s cargo of cereal. Somehow he got his own cereal, as you’ll notice on the box the absence of the name Cap’n Crunch. Even the Cap’n laments the goodness of Jean’s cereal in the ad:
Oops, All Berries!
Yeah, I’m going to throw in one more Cap’n Crunch variant at you. There are plenty more I haven’t mentioned like Volcano Crunch (with pop rocks) and Deep Sea Crunch, but this one is a personal favorite, Oops, All Berries! Even the Onion got in on this cereal. Now before you make the joke, did you know that the Cap’n was once promoted to Admiral? And that promotion led to this cereal? After a tremendous outpouring from his fans, Quaker Oats decided to promote the Cap’n. But Admiral Crunch quickly became bored with his desk job at Crunch Headquarters, and his replacement Cap’ns (Cap’n Scrinch and Cap’n Munch) screwed up the Crunch Berrie and Crunch Biscuit mixing machines, resulting in this cereal. Hence the “Oops!” in the title. The Admiral decided that he was truly the best one suited for the role as the Cap’n and soon regained his old position. And I gained a delicious cereal.
Sir Grapefellow (1972)
Moving on from Cap’n Crunch and the Navy, we turn to two fighter pilots worthy of the Air Force. Who remembers Sir Grapefellow cereal? The first of two World War I pilot breakfast treats, Grapefellow was a debonair British pilot fond of giving us the “okay” sign. He touted a strong smelling grape-flavored (yes, grape) breakfast treat with similarly-tasting marshmallows. Of course it turned the milk a luscious lilac color too. And nothing says cool better than a scarf and aviator goggles! Where have you gone, Sir Grapefellow? Tally-ho!
Baron Von Redberry (1972)
Achtung, baby! No, not U2, but Baron Von Redberry who was Sir Grapefellow’s enemy and countered with his own vaguely fruit-punch-flavored confection loaded with enough sugar to fuel a Panzer corps. Because if there’s one thing that children love, it’s fruit-flavored World War I air aces. You need at least two of them. Besides, the Baron “iz der berry goodest”. People have theorized that World War I theme is influenced by the Peanuts comic strip, which during the 1960s often featured Snoopy in scarf and goggles perched on top of his doghouse in a perpetual battle with the Red Baron. Whether true or not, hapless American children were asked to choose between the two charismatic fellows, but democracy and Sir Grapefellow usually won out.
Crazy Cow (1972-late 1970s)
Because people love the delicious taste of Mad Cow to start their day off. It came in two flavors, chocolate and strawberry, and was a bit of a novelty due to the fact its cereal pellets were coated with an excipient of a drink mix. When milk was added, it would dissolve the powdered coating, and the resultant mixture would resemble in sight, smell, and taste a flavored milk. Not that the concept is all that rare with today’s cereals. Here’s a commercial:
Cocoa Hoots (1972-1975)
This short-lived 1970s sweetened chocolate flavored cereal came complete with safety stickers from Newton the Owl, which you can check out over here. Although the funniest part of the box is the unfortunate location of the Os on the owl’s anatomy. With a name oh so close to Hooters, maybe the design could be a little better. Here’s a sample ad:
Crunchy Loggs (1978-1979)
No, this cereal was not made out of wood. Bixby Beaver pawned off this strawberry flavored “ready-sweetened corn and oat cereal” on kids. One slight problem. The box is a dirty joke waiting to happen. Pink. Beavers. Crunchy Loggs. And one has to ask, what’s more appetizing than chowing down on some Crunchy Loggs? It probably tastes like what you’d get if a cartoon beaver took a dump in your bowl. Cause tht’s what it looks like. So much went wrong on this one.
Mr. Wonderfull’s Suprize (1970s)
Someone must be wearing the Bad Idea Jeans, because here’s another one. Good idea, selling crunchy puffed cereal in vanilla and chocolate flavors. Bad idea, putting frosting in the middle, calling it Mr. Wonderfull’s Suprize, and having kids want to eat some white cream that came out of a creepy man’s balls. At least the chocolate flavored version had brown cream inside, making it slightly less disturbing. Although it just gives you visions of Chef saying, “Suck on my chocolate salty balls.” I’d probably be better off not knowing what Mr. Wonderfull’s Suprize is, but apparently it’s a thin coating of pudding. At least that’s what they tell me it is.
OK
In our Tribute to Fallen Soda, we mentioned OK Soda. So it only seems appropriate that there once was an OK cereal. This one goes way back, and Kellogg’s tried a few methods to sell it. In true paper towel form, above is the “Br-r-awny” look aimed at kids that want to grow up big and strong. Of course, OK can also make you long for the days when cartoon characters acted as pitchmen. Here’s a video with Yogi Bear in place of the buff Scotsman selling OKs:
Quake (1965-1972)
I mentioned at the top that Quisp is still produced, but its original partner in crime, Quake, fell by the way-side. The two were advertised together until 1970 when a no holds barred winner take all contest was held to see which cereal was more popular. Quisp won, and Quake with its no-frills stodgy miner (who later morphed into a cowboy) retreated underground. Dubbed as providing “earthquake power!” to those who ate it, Quake was made at the earth’s core. Here’s what the ad looked like:
Circus Fun
Kaboom may live on, but its distant cousin Circus Fun does not. And its not all that well remembered either. The Circus Fun Clown encouraged the circus theme shaped marshmallows of horses, hoops, balls, bears, elephants, and lions to jump into his “crispy sweetened fruit flavored cereal” (orange tigers were added later). They all combined to form a great center ring adventure, in your mouth. The cereal was like crack rocks for kids, but surprisingly wasn’t too popular. At least the ad was memorable:
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Quisp and Quake cereals. Mid to late sixties. They were advertised like mad on Saturday morning cartoon programs.
:-)
You’ll find Quake near the bottom of page 2 of this very article
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I was hoping to see Halfsies (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halfsies) on this list. It was the first cereal sweetened with Nutrasweet. Me and a buddy of mine were obsessed with it, I’m surprised we didn’t single-handedly keep it in business.
You forgot Triples cereal.
When a single Sprinkle Spangle became lodged in my throat, I almost choked to death as an eight year old. I’d never been so afraid in my life.
The experience was enough to keep me from adding a box to the cart on subsequent grocery trips.
Wow, epic dude. Totally cool man!
WHERE ARE S’MORES??
BEST….CEREAL…..EVER!!
What about Nintendo cereal?
What about Kroonchy Starz? A glaring omission!
I was hoping to see Clackers (http://www.theimaginaryworld.com/greasy23.jpg) listed, just to remind myself that I did, indeed, eat a bajillion boxes of those things. My dad worked at the General Mill packing plant in West Chicago, Illinois and was able to buy cereal in bulk with a ridiculous employee discount (something like a dollar a case). As I recall, Clackers were originally test-marketed under the name “Graham Rosettes.” Early on each box had a little plastic noisemaker inside, called a “Clacker Quacker.” Truly an annoying device, it drove my parents insane. Which made it the perfect toy for a 14-year-old.
What? No Post Oat Flakes — probably the best tasting cereal there was!
Yet another site rips off an X-Entertainment article.
You also forgot Kellogg’s Graham Crack-O’s brought to you by George the Milkman… 1978 or so… The New Godzilla cartoon on NBC was on…
Great article! I wonder why Oreo took down there cereal, I’m sure it lasted more then ten years in the market because it was selling well, so something strange there for sure.
What about the Nintendo and Batman Cereals?
Where’s “Kaboom”? and wasn’t there a “Pee Wee Herman” cerial, and the puffed rice in the duck shaped container, and “Quangaroos”( something along with “Quake”?
Then there was the 1980’s “Count Chocula” with the “too close for comfort” Nazi themed medal around it’s neck…
I also remember some bizarre geometric/mathematical symbol shaped frosted oats that gave away little grey nuclear aircraft carriers that “flung” even littler A4 jets – 1969 or so – maybe something like “Orbits” or something?
And of course “Sugar Smacks!” Nothing like some glucose with your heroin in the morning, eh?
And yes, I had both a “Quake” miners hat (with real light) AND a “Quisp” pink propeller beanie (uses 2 AA batteries not included!)…
[...] by Jason Wu on March 5, 2009 http://www.gunaxin.com/a-tribute-to-discontinued-cereals/11570/3 I really loved eating this [...]
HELLO MY NAME IS CRISPY, HOW DO YA DO? CRISPY CRITTERS CEREAL’S ENTIRELY NEW!!!
Reading the article brought back so many memories… If I could pick a couple cereals back from the grave it would be Chocolate Cookie Crisp and Blueberry Waffelos, man those were good!
These are all NEW cereals! How about Kellog’s PEP? I imitate it now by crunching Wheaties up very fine!
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Ok, so the TMNT cereal is on here, but you failed to mention the short run of Pizza-flavored marshmallows? For shame.
It was disgusting, but it was interesting nonetheless.
Hidden Treasures (approx 1994-1995) was the best. I bought a box on eBay and hung it on my wall.
I miss Kenmai Rice Bran and Fruity Marshmallow Krispies to this day.
This list is not complete without Pacman Cereal: http://www.tomheroes.com/Video%20Games%20FS/video%20games/burbs/memorabilia/pacman_cereal_box.htm
It was my fav when I was younger.
Banana Frosted Flakes look just like Special K Blueberry (obviously with a different fruit).
My favorite had to be the Oreo O’s. God, those were delicious.
These are great, I remember some of these when I was a kid, brought back some great memories!
Hell LO? Croonchy Stars???
http://bit.ly/CLMRf
i call SHENANIGANS on the individual who discontinued the best cereal ever, RICE KRISPIE TREATS CEREAL. <3
I have talked to Cap’n Crunch in reference to the OOP’S all berries return and they said to expect a return in 201X read more to find out when at http://www.blakeleitch.com
:) Love this post…
You know what cereal I miss? Count Chocula..you can’t find that anywhere anymore. Those marshmallows and chocolaty goodness..where’d you go???
French Toast Crunch still exists.
At least in Canada.
I work for a packaging design that just refreshed the look.
The new blue boxes are on the shelves now.
what aout ARCHIES cereal. they looked like honeycombs and once came with a cutout record on the back that actually played. AWESOME
forgot “waffle crisp” …
Kudos and Dugg for OJ’s! I absolutely loved that cereal as a kid and could only get it when I visited my grandmother because my parents refused to buy it for me. Thanks Grandma!
Bigg Mixx 1990-1992 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bigg_Mixx
What freaked out parents about Smurf Berry Crunch was not that it turned poop weird colors (it didn’t), it was that it turned the milk and the inside of your mouth bright blue. It was so heavily saturated with dye that you got a buzz off the chemicals. (Which is why I bought it.) The stuff made Fruity Pebbles seem healthy. From what I remember it was a re-dyed version of Captain Crunch Crunchberry cereal.
FREAKIES!
What about Nesquik cereal that turned your milk into chocolate milk, that was bomb. Also the first iteration of French Toast Crunch was far better than the new version(gross).
Awwwww….. What tribute to discontinued cereals is complete without MOONSTONES! Moonstones & Freakies were required eating during Saturday Morning Cartoons!
Thanks for taking me back!
General Mills needs to bring back hidden treasure cereal…
[...] shared a link on the mighty Twitter of a tribute to cereals from the past – love [...]
How could anyone forget Nut ‘N Honey. Especially the commercials.
What about Double Dip Crunch???
How ’bout bringing some of these back??
Um, what about Kaboom? You know the one with the cartoon clown on the cover? How could it be overlooked? I wish that cereal was still around It was so damn great!
anyone remember pro stars?? mmmmmm
Great tribute!
You hit all of mine except for (as Brooke mentioned) Kellogg’s Rice Krispies Treats Cereal
Wasn’t there a “Where’s Waldo” Cereal too?
Does anyone remember rice crinkles?
For those complaining about the omission of Kaboom and Rice Krispy Treats cereal…I guess you like the pretty pictures, but you don’t read.
We pay tribute to these sweet breakfast addictions and their psychedelic ad campaigns. In my research I did find some good news, however. Fans of Kaboom!, King Vitaman, and Quisp will be happy to know these favorites still survive, and can easily be purchased online. Even a relatively new favorite like Rice Krispie Treats cereal is still around. But for every success, many failed to receive their stay of execution. And it’s for those we can only hope one day they are resurrected. Until then we only can hope, remember, and curse the cereal killers.
[...] A tribute to discontinued cereals. [...]
Actually most of the cereals people posted on in the comments are in the article. People either don’t read or don’t scroll through the pages.
I’m not going to blame people for not wanting to read all the pages. But don’t complain that Nintendo cereal, Batman cereal, Croonchy Stars, or Rick Krinkles aren’t in there. Because they are.
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Duuuuude, what a step back in time!!! I must admit I was pretty pumped to hear that Rice Krispy Treats Cereal is still available on the black market…lol
the grocery store i used to work at still sells kaboom! rice krispy treats cereal, and king vitamin. so if your in the north alabama area you can pick up some of those.
What about Rocky Road cereal, that was my favourite until it disappeared.
Wow. I had forgotten about some of those. I think I have eaten 90% of the cereals you mention. And I miss A LOT of them. :(
Love your post, it’s GRRRRRRRRRRRRREAT!
I have an idea why they misspelled waffle in the name:
Waffelo Bill is a play of words on Buffalo Bill. ~M
[...] in the cereal aisle to make room for the latest sugar-blasted flavor and snazzy box art. Click HERE for a tribute to the fallen warriors that made our Saturday mornings in front of the television a [...]
BOYCOTT KELLOGGS products.
After they fired Michael Phelps because there was a picture with him with a bong, they should be boycotted. Subway Sandwiches did not. Eat at the Subway burn your Kellogg’s products and don’t buy more.
I don’t know if its been discontinued, but I haven’t seen Rice Krispy Treats cereal in forever. That stuff was incredible.
Captain Crunch with chocolate milk can still be had! :O )
WHERE THE FUCK IS COUNT CHOCULA?!?!??!?!?!?
I remember BucWheats (I’m 41)! They were really good, with substantial flakes and less overt sweetness than the rest of these. They probably also had the most nutritional value of anything on this list, but I’m going to guess more sugar overall.
Clackers!!
Mmm I just had a bowl of Waffle Crisp but they’re not sold around here… I didn’t realized they discontinued them in certain locations, until I randomly had a craving of them. After walking down the cereal isle about 10 times I was sad to find they didn’t have any. Luckily you can import some from Amazon.com- but you have to buy them by the 5-box bulk.
I miss Berry Kix/Berry Captin Crunch/ & Boo Berry also..
cheers
I am remembering a cereal we used to get at the Grocery Outlet in CA (where discontinued products go to die) it was kinda like granola but chocolately. Damn I wish I could remember the name. For some reason something like Coco Moco is in my head although I know it wasn’t that.
what about alphabet cereal? or the rice krispy treats cereal?
Why are all you morons asking about Count Chocula? Do you never go grocery shopping? It’s been in every store I’ve ever been in.
These are awesome!
I really wish I could try some dunkin donuts cereal.
You forgot Rice Krispy Treats cereal!!!!!!
Why, oh for God’s sake WHY can’t you get Frankenberry/Booberry/Count Chocula unless it’s Halloween? And there was certainly no need to discontinue Fruit Brute!
[...] A tribute to discontinued cereals. [...]
you missed a very special one; muppet babies croonchy stars: http://www.muppetcentral.com/collectibles/muppetpics/food_stars.jpg
Nice list fellas! Where is the PAC-MAN cereal? It had pac-man marshmellows in it, as well as GIANT PAC-MAN marshmellows after he ate the power pellets!! LOL!
I miss one from the 60’s called ” Frosty O’s ” with a Dudley Do Right on the front.” Post Fortified Oat Flakes ” was another great.
[...] study this exhaustive tribute to discontinued cereals in order to solve (or add to) a bit of gender mystery about the King Vitaman in your life. Tags: [...]
big ups for this article. i am a huge 80s cereal head and i was big into ice cream cones. thats insane it was only around for a year, as it impacted me profoundly. i am gonna try to find that commercial and put it on youtube before i die. i can still remember the song so well “my names ice cream jones, with a cereal called ice cream cones” word up to 1987.
theres so many cereals i miss on here!
excellent work.
cheers
I love kenmai rice bran! it used to be my personal favorite. I would buy it all the time as a teenager. i like special K as a substitute, but not the same. :(
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i loved the french toast crunch in the red box….. it was probably discontinued because they changed the cereal so noone wanted to buy it.
no crispy critters?! for shame!
Team Cheerios, marketed for the Olympics in the late 90s/early 2000s, were the BEST freaking Cheerios there were. I wish they still made them. =(
i want pinkpnther flakes!!!!!
i really wish everyday that smores crunch would come back i love them
I miss the Pokemon cereal from the late 1990’s and early 2000’s. From what I remember, it was just like Lucky Charms, but with Pokemon-shaped marshmallows.
I wish the Sprinkle Spangles could come back
Anyone remember Fruit Island Cereal? I think it was out between 1986 and 1988…I can’t remember much except that it was a fruity flavor and it tasted much better than the fruit flavored cereals that were on the market at the time.
Though I’m a guy, I loved the rainbow brite cereal…it was almost intoxicating!
This really pisses me off.Iv searched everywhere online 2 try 2 find anything that mimics the flavor of Pacman or Smurfberry Crunch cereal.I will pay the highest amount 2 get consumers 2 get this cereal or a flavor like these back on the markets.
I want Sprinkle Spangles and Rice Crispy Treats Cereal Sooooooooooooooooooo bad!
Great Article! Reminds me of the good old days!
I miss Cinnamon Krunchers, it was 100x better than Cinnamon Toast Crunch was, hands down.
thats so stupid that they discontinued my fav ceril oreos
IT’S NOT A KIDS CEREAL – BUT WHAT ABOUT THOSE HUGE SHREDDED WHEATS…LIKE 6 LOGS/CAKES TO A BOX?
Kaboom! Poor man's Lucky Charms
there is a poll on facebook to bring back vanilla vrunch
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I LIVED off of the old French Toast Crunch. I’m surprised the amount my family ate alone didn’t keep it alive. The red box kind, not the atrocious newer kind and the Cinnamon Toast Crunch where the flavor is washed off as soon as the milk hits it. Oreo O’s were a sugar kick in the face but ridiculously good. We bought the cereal instead of the cookies themselves. Until they freaking stopped making it. Waffle Crisp. Oh, Waffle Crisp. You can get the Eggo Waffle Cereal, but it really just isn’t the same. *sigh*
The old stuff was childhood memories in a box and these mean old curmudgeons and cereal dictators keep wiping all the good cereals off the face of the earth.
Getting rid of cereals because of the response of parents who don’t want sugary cereal for their kids sucks. What about the old kids at heart? When I was a kid, we practically lived off of cereal (most of which were damn near made of pure sugar) and we turned out just fine. I know most cereals are probably discontinued because of minimal profit, but I am willing to bet many of these cereals got axed because they weren’t pulling in enough to rival Lucky Charms and Corn Flakes, not because they weren’t making them any money. Money was made, just not at the same level as the ridiculously popular ones.
Man. Sad. People should band together and create a new cereal company where they only make the old goodies. Yum.
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