From an era when children’s programming existed purely to sell toys.

Transformers Commercials: Creepy Kids in Disguise!

Ram a Wii-Mote up an innocent doll’s ass

Put Jabba’s henchman’s head on your mantle.

If your little girl (or boy) has dreams of someday gracing the stage of a smoky strip club, this toy is a must for Christmas this year!

“Fusing reality and hyperreality through the personification and pantomime of toy characters”

“kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky”

Twisted adults have plenty to play with.

“I guarantee it’s the craziest trap you’ll ever see!”

Light up your dull sex life with a dozen enticing products.