While surfing the internet for puppet sales, I came across a couple of sites that offend me. They are sites that sell biblical puppets. So, I can only assume that there is a market for people who want to buy a Jesus puppet (with removable legs and clothes!) or a Joseph puppet.

Let’s be honest, folks. People buy puppets to amuse themselves while they’re drunk as they put the puppets in erotic poses. Occasionally, people use puppets to amuse children while using adult innuendo to keep themselves interested. I can’t think of anything else anyone would ever use a puppet for, ever.

So, when you take the obvious purpose of puppets, and combine that with religious figures, sacrilegious doings are bound to occur. Do the puppet-makers really want people having puppet shows of Jesus getting it on with Mary Magdalene? Or Peter and John doing the Who’s on First routine for the kiddies? (Incidentally, I couldn’t find a Judas puppet, but did find a devil puppet.)

What’s next, comic books with Jesus in a cape swooping down to save people? Biblical trading cards with bubble gum? Where’s the outrage? Muslims would NEVER let anyone get away with a Mohammed puppet. I’m offended for religious Christians AND for puppet purists having to see serious figures introduced into the clan. Let’s do all we can to get these off the market, now.

Anywho, let’s watch Family Guy…